Terminator Salvation

Spoilers follow.

Hypothetical Conversation 1

Skynet A: Our unnecessarily complicated plan has succeeded – Marcus Wright has lured John Connor into our base!

Skynet B: Excellent! Now we can kill him easily. How should we do it? Call in all available ground units and riddle him with bullets?

Skynet A: No.

Skynet B: Suck all the oxygen out of the room he’s in?

Skynet A: Um… no.

Skynet B: Nuke the place and write it of as acceptable losses?

Skynet A: I was thinking one Terminator should be enough.

Skynet B: One Term… Are you sure? Do we know how he’s fared against solo Terminators before?

Skynet A: I’ll look into that.

Skynet B: What will the Terminator be armed with? Phased plasma rifle in the 40-watt range?

Skynet A: Well…

Skynet B: Uzi 9mm?

Skynet A: How would you feel about unarmed?

Skynet B: Unarmed? We have Connor at our mercy in the middle of our biggest and most heavily guarded killer robot factory, and you want to attack him with a single, unarmed, human-sized robot?

Skynet A: It’ll look like Arnie.


Skynet B: I’ll get the popcorn.

Skynet A: Cool.

Skynet B: Where’s Marcus Wright, by the way?

Skynet A: Eh, dunno.

Hypothetical Conversation 2

McG: Come and see my new Terminator movie!

Me: Oooh, I love Terminator. Will it have time travel?

McG: No, that’s been done.

Me: Will it deal with heavy philosophical issues about fate? The nature of consciousness and humanity?

McG: It might glance in that direction occasionally, but not really.

Me: Will it at least have a coherent plot?

McG: Look, you’ll get two hours of gritty action, big CG robots, and a grown-up John Connor in the post-Judgment Day machine war. With lots of callbacks to the other movies.


Me: I’ll get the popcorn.

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