Archive for the 'Movies' Category

Terminator Salvation

Spoilers follow.

Hypothetical Conversation 1

Skynet A: Our unnecessarily complicated plan has succeeded – Marcus Wright has lured John Connor into our base!

Skynet B: Excellent! Now we can kill him easily. How should we do it? Call in all available ground units and riddle him with bullets?

Skynet A: No.

Skynet B: Suck all the oxygen out of the room he’s in?

Skynet A: Um… no.

Skynet B: Nuke the place and write it of as acceptable losses?

Skynet A: I was thinking one Terminator should be enough.

Skynet B: One Term… Are you sure? Do we know how he’s fared against solo Terminators before?

Skynet A: I’ll look into that.

Skynet B: What will the Terminator be armed with? Phased plasma rifle in the 40-watt range?

Skynet A: Well…

Skynet B: Uzi 9mm?

Skynet A: How would you feel about unarmed?

Skynet B: Unarmed? We have Connor at our mercy in the middle of our biggest and most heavily guarded killer robot factory, and you want to attack him with a single, unarmed, human-sized robot?

Skynet A: It’ll look like Arnie.

<pause>

Skynet B: I’ll get the popcorn.

Skynet A: Cool.

Skynet B: Where’s Marcus Wright, by the way?

Skynet A: Eh, dunno.


Hypothetical Conversation 2

McG: Come and see my new Terminator movie!

Me: Oooh, I love Terminator. Will it have time travel?

McG: No, that’s been done.

Me: Will it deal with heavy philosophical issues about fate? The nature of consciousness and humanity?

McG: It might glance in that direction occasionally, but not really.

Me: Will it at least have a coherent plot?

McG: Look, you’ll get two hours of gritty action, big CG robots, and a grown-up John Connor in the post-Judgment Day machine war. With lots of callbacks to the other movies.

<pause>

Me: I’ll get the popcorn.

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Star Trekkin’ Across the Universe

Saw Star Trek. Was good.

Now, I’ve never been much of a Trekkie. I put it in the same category as Buffy, World of Warcraft, and cocaine – I avoid it because I suspect that if I ever got started, I’d black out and wake up six months later unemployed, single and sleeping in line at a convention or something. But I heard good things about this movie – specifically that it appeals to non-Trekkies. I guess that makes it some kind of gateway drug.

One comment, without going into too many spoilery details… It usually annoys me when a prequel or reboot or whatever does the Parade of Characters and How They Met. (It’s practically my job to make fun of this in the Star Wars prequels.) F’rexample, the recent Wolverine movie handled this really badly. Star Trek did this as cheesily as any other franchise – more so – and somehow managed to pull it off. In fact it worked really well. Maybe the franchise has a higher tolerance for cheesiness than, uh… X-Men. Hmmm. That doesn’t sound right.

Also, Simon Pegg is awesome.

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Northern Lights

…better known in the US, and now elsewhere on account of the movie, as The Golden Compass.

I’ve heard very little of the Christian furore over the movie that has apparently sprung up out of nowhere in the US. Possibly in Australia even the fundies are unwilling to say anything bad about a movie with Nicole Kidman in it. (Successful Aussie stars are few and revered, and Nic is one of the starriest.) Aaaanyway, I was unsure whether to see the movie, because it’s apparently not as good as the book (duh) which I hadn’t read, the allegedly atheist message is apparently a bit of drummed-up anti-hype, and there are so many other movies to choose from that came out on Boxing Day.

Then Tina’s sister got her the His Dark Materials trilogy for Christmas, which changes the equation completely. I have a full and growing reading list, so I wouldn’t have bought them on my own for a while otherwise, but having them right here is a different story. So I’ve borrowed and started on Northern Lights, and if I get through it in the next day or two, I’ll probably see the movie. And be disappointed in all likelihood. But hopefully either the Christadelphians or Baptists in the block opposite the cinema will whine about it, which will make it more fun.

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X-Men: The Last Stand

See it. Don’t argue, just see it. It’s gratuitous, over-the-top, absurd and everything else a comic book adaptation should be.

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